A heartwarming story about a true Bears fan.

Growing up on the most famous cul-de-sac in Rosemont, Illinois (of course I’m talking about Krowka Lane), the neighborhood kids used to make fun of me. I was born with a world-record seven kidneys, giving me a slight bulge around my midsection (which in my adult years has often required an undergarment for support). It hurt to set picks in basketball, and so I was always chosen last. But it also left me with a mean temper and an abnormal capacity to digest massive amounts of protein and sodium.