I am officially a Hooligan

I believe the requisite taunts-per-day ratio is 5.0 - I'm now doing approximately 7.8, mostly directed towards Jets or Giants fans. It seems that the number of people out there who make fun of my Bears fan status is inversely proportional to the number of days until the official season starts. This, of course, means I must retaliate; my latest thing is to say, "Oh, a Jets fan, eh? How about this: S-U-C-K SUCK SUCK SUCK!" Original, I know.

Granted, it's a little mean-spirited, but I've had to take a LOT of flack just from walking down the street in Bears gear. I think maybe since we made it all the way to the Super Bowl last year (defeating both the Jets and the Giants in the process), they're a little sore. But who cares.

Saturday night I was out at the Gael with Jen, Christa, Meg and Neeru and we met this dude who was celebrating his twenty-fifth birthday. I'm a nice guy, and I love birthdays, so I'm buying him and his buddies a few beers and, in general, having fun. But then, he and his pals start to rag on the Bears. Don't get me wrong, I can take it just as much as I can dish it out, but these guys were Class A Assholes. Not only did they, after I said a few choice words in defense of the Bears and in detriment to the Jets, act like I had just told them Jesus had sex with each of their mothers and then fed the ashes of their ancestors to Adolph Hitler, they also started to talk down to my city.

"The Chicago fire was great, I wish it would happen again, that city is the biggest shithole ever." Et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseum. It was at this point that I had to make a choice: on the one hand, I could start a ruckus and defend the honor of my city, with the chance that I'd never be allowed back into the Gael ever again, or on the other hand, I could just leave, and write off their words to too much beer and too few IQ points. I of course chose the latter, because frankly, drunk assholes are a dime a dozen, and drunk Jets and Giants assholes are even cheaper, but a Chicago-friendly refuge in this city is worth way more.

Bear down.